Malik and Mariks random adventures with Ryou coming to save them
by naturalgeek123
Summary: Random crack I came up with because of a rolepley me and Yami-The-Dark have going! XD The title says it all but this is some pretty weird stuff! P.S. I have it at T but should I bump the rating up?
1. Chapter 1

**Me: Well, uh, this is something really just…random.**

**Night: You got this story out of your role-play with Yami-The-Dark.**

**Me: I know, but I don't even know how it formed! It literally came out of NOWHERE!**

**Night: Just write the damn story!**

**Yami: I did not condone nor did I help write this. I just got the Beta job -_-"**

**Declaimer: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT THE PLOT THAT I HAVE NO CLUE ON HOW IT FORMED!**

**Warnings: This is boyxboy and kind of contains a small lemon, kind of. I don't think I'll rate it M because it's not even descriptive and I don't even go into it. You'll only kind of realize it's there but not much.**

**~~I have no idea~~**

Marik and Malik stumbled into the Domino Mall, completely drunk off their asses. They stumbled around for a bit, getting strange looks and whispers from the few people there, being 3am and all. Usually when they came to the mall at 3am, it was to terrorize the Hot Topic employees. But today, they were up to something much worse.

They came upon a small red Stratus and smirked. They wanted the car, but it said they had to win some stupid contest to win the keys to the car. Too damn complicated for their taste.

Malik pouted at the sign and looked around at all the empty shops, and how there was close to no one there. It was unfair, in his drunken mind, that he couldn't just have the car. He then realized his fuck buddy was missing and looked around a bit for him, but didn't move from his spot. He spotted Marik climbing on top of the car.

Malik looked around again and saw a couple walk right past the car. The girl started to whisper while throwing glances at Malik. Growling, he walked over to the couple, tripped the boy and looked at the girl. He walked over to the car again, climbed up with Marik's help, and wrapped his arms around his chest.

"MINE!" He yelled out possessively as the girl grabbed her boyfriends and dragged him quickly towards the exit. Marik looked down at his slightly pissed off boyfriend and nuzzled his hair while wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Mine," He mumbled, dragging Malik down to the car to undress him. If there was something alcohol did to him other than make him act like a total psycho, it was give him the craving for sex with the gorgeous Egyptian whom he so possessively took hold of. Not that Malik minded it; his naïve brain loved the attention.

Ryou walked into the mall, alone, because he was bored and really didn't have much else to do at the time. Bakura, his Yami and lover, had gone off to do who-knows-what for the rest of the night, leaving Ryou all alone with nothing to do. He walked in and was making his way around the store with an ice-cream he bought at Dairy Queen until he saw a sight he quickly wished to burn out of his mind. _Marik was screwing Malik on top of a car. _It took Ryou a few moments to put two and two together.

"Marik and Malik are drunk again and now they're fucking on top of a car…why does this not surprise me?" Ryou then noticed the contest sign and realized with a scowl that it was one he had entered not too long ago, "Well, now I don't want to win and they ruined my appetite," He muttered, throwing his ice-cream into the nearest trash can. He heard a siren outside and sighed, knowing it was up to him to bail the two idiots out…again. He hid behind a large stone column and watched as the police arrived and quickly tried to arrest the two idiots. They failed…miserably. It seems that Marik and Malik could easily get themselves untangled and jump off a car without getting hurt at all, which made Ryou chuckle because once they were up and running there was no way to catch them. But the police did just that, and Ryou walked over and sighed at the cloths they left on the floor.

Picking them up, he didn't even look back as he heard several alarms go off and the water sprinklers activate. When he got to his car, he was annoyed and wet from head to toe. He had soon after leaving the mall realized that the two morons had managed to cause a fire in the indoor fountain. How they did it didn't even matter because all he knew was the two were going to wake up to much more than a simple headache. Oh no, they were going to wake up to an angry Ryou. An angry Ryou who is going to immediately start lecturing them in the loudest voice he could use, which will undoubtedly cause their headaches to increase tenfold.

Driving home, he walked into the house to find it perfectly fine and saw Bakura on the couch. Smiling softly, he walked over and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead and laid on top of him for a good night's sleep; because like hell was he not going to sleep with his Kura.

The next morning, Ryou woke up to see Bakura looking down suspiciously at him. Smiling, he nuzzled up closer to Bakura with a sigh.

"And just where were you last night, creampuff?" Bakura asked, running his hand through Ryou's hair.

"Oh, well, I went to the mall and got caught up in a stupid mess," Ryou mumbled and then looked up with a smirk, "I need to get over to Malik's today," before Bakura could ask why, Ryou put a finger on Bakura's lips to silence him.

"What for?" he asked around the finger, but Ryou still smirked.

"I just need to, okay 'Kura?" Ryou said softly with a gentle smile. Bakura grinned back and hugged Ryou close.

"Fine, but I get double tonight deal?"

"Deal," he said. And with that, Ryou was gone to scream at some Egyptian boys and then call their sister to come and scream at them.

Yes, all is well in Domino city.

**~~What this is~~**

**Me:…**

**Night: *laughing so hard she fell off her chair***

**Cleo: And why did THIS of all things come into your mind Shad?**

**Me:…**

**Jake: -_-"**

**Fluffy&Twilight: R&R PLEASE! And she might make more of this.**

**Me: Should I just make short stories of funny situations for Marik and Malik to get themselves into with Ryou coming in and helping them out? Please let me know!**

**Yami: I've beta read crack before, but this…well, creativity comes in all sorts of ways ^^"**


	2. Chapter 2

Me:…I just had some cake so you know what time it is.

Night: Where the f*&! did THIS idea come from?!

Me:…hamerspace.

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT THE PLOT!

~~Don't ask~~

Malik and Marik were sitting inside the McDonalds restaurant talking about simple things.

"I still say bears lay eggs." Marik defended crossing his arms over his tan chest, he didn't want to wear a shirt and none of the girls in the restaurant seemed to mind, not many of the boys either.

"For the last time bears are mammals and therefore can. Not. Lay. Eggs." Malik glared stubbornly; sometimes he hated his Yami for being so stupid.

"What about a platypus?" Marik countered with a smirk.

"I thought we were talking about bears?"

"No birds."

"…penguin." Malik said just to see the reaction.

"They lay eggs and so does a bear!" Marik shouted earning quite a lot of strange looks.

"Sure Mar sure." Malik sighed eating some more of his French fries. Marik gave a victorious grin and sat back with a smile.

"Totally won that argument. Penguins are bears." Marik said to himself while Malik's eye twitched in annoyance.

"Marik you do realize you are quite possibly the stupidest person alive right now right?"

"No I'm the smartest because I figured out that platypus's are bears and penguins because they lay eggs." Malik face planted into the table while more people looked over to see what was wrong.

"Someone get me away from this idiot or at least shove some brain cells into that spiky head of his." Malik muttered.

The door of the restaurant jingled softly as a young boy stepped into the shop. It was the little boy we all know and love Ryou.

"Yes I think I'd like the chicken strips and a large cheese burger." He smiled at the blushing cashier who nodded her head and quickly rang off to place the order. Malik looked over at him and an idea formed into his head.

"Ry!" he called out as the boy stepped away from the counter to wait for his name to be called. Ryou looked up and gave a smile as he approached them.

"Hey guys! What are you up to?" Ryou asked sitting beside Malik.

"Ry I need help," Malik whispered into his ear so Marik wouldn't hear. "Marik thinks that bears lay eggs and are related to platypuses and penguins."

"How-?"

"I don't know just fix it please!" he whispered franticly. "I think I'm losing brain cells just sitting near him!" Ryou thought for a second, how was he going to convince a psychopathic yami that bears do not lay eggs and none of those animals were related.

"Marik?"

"Hmm?" he asked mouth full of fries.

"We don't lay eggs do we?"

"No."

"And we're mammals aren't we?"

"Yes."

"And mammals can't lays eggs right?"

"Right."

"Then bears can't lay eggs because they're also mammals right?"

"I never said they laid eggs." Malik's eye twitched.

"But-you-why-how-WHAT?!"

"Oh looky! The sky's blue!" Marik pointed out the window.

"…I think I heard my name being called. Got to go! Bye see you at school tomorrow Mal-y! Mar-y!" Ryou said quickly and went to the front leaving Malik twitching in his seat. Malik looked up and it took him a few moments to notice the smirk that was spread across his face.

"No." Malik said quietly still shocked.

"Oh yes! It's truly fun to mind-fuck people." Malik stood up and stood in front of his Yamis side.

"You. Fucking. Jackass." Malik muttered before being pulled down into Mariks lap.

"Yeah but you still love me." Marik muttered into Maliks hair. Malik sighed and looked up expressionless.

"That I do love." Malik leaned up and kissed him before pulling back and taking one of Mariks fries. "That I do."

Marik looked down pouting and halfway glaring at Malik for taking his French fry, after all you never steal another French fry because that's just asking for trouble.

"Bears still lay eggs by the way." Marik smirked.

~~Just don't~~

Me: XD

Night: You just had to do that didn't you?

Me: *nodes while smiling like an idiot*

Cleo,Fluffy,&Twilight: R&R

Jake: You might get more if you do!


End file.
